Decision to Leave Seminary Formation
Journey of Discernment
Leaving seminary formation was a significant and emotionally charged decision, one that required deep introspection and personal growth. As I look back on this pivotal moment in my life, I find solace in the clarity I gained through the process of discernment. The decision to leave the seminary was not one of failure or retreat but rather a courageous step toward aligning my life with my authentic self. It was in stepping away that I truly discovered who I am and what my passions and aspirations are.
Recognizing a New Path
While I initially entered the seminary with a sense of purpose, I soon realized that my path lay elsewhere, in different forms of service and personal expression. This realization was not easy, but it was essential for my growth and self-awareness, as the Gospel reminds us of the call to follow Christ and discern where we are most called to serve: “Follow Me” (Matthew 4:19, NRSV).
During that period, I found comfort in spiritual readings that guided me in listening to God’s gentle voice. One book that particularly spoke to me was The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen, which reminded me that every turning point in life is also an invitation to return home to the Father’s embrace.
Exploring New Ways to Serve
I began to explore other avenues where I could serve others, whether through different professional roles, volunteer work, or by pursuing alternative forms of spirituality. It was through this journey of questioning and reflection that I gained a deeper understanding of my purpose in life and the kind of impact I wanted to have on the world. As Pope Francis writes in The Joy of the Gospel, discernment requires opening one’s heart to God’s call and “listening to the signs of the times” (Pope Francis 2013, no. 16).
Discernment is not a single decision; it is a lifelong habit of listening, reflecting, and responding in love.
To help me remain centered in prayer, I used a simple wooden handheld rosary that became my companion during quiet moments of reflection. Holding it reminded me that God’s presence accompanies every uncertainty.
Facing Uncertainty with Faith
Leaving the seminary also allowed me to embrace the uncertainties that come with change. It is often through doubt and discomfort that true growth occurs, and this process was no different. As I navigated the complexities of faith, theology, and philosophy, I found that my understanding of spirituality became richer and more nuanced.
A valuable companion during this time was Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life by Henri Nouwen, which helped me see that God often speaks in the ordinary — through the people we meet and the choices we face.
The Role of Community and Support
This deeper exploration of my faith, combined with the support of friends, mentors, and peers, allowed me to develop a more expansive view of my role in the world. The relationships I formed during my time in seminary continue to be a source of strength and support as I continue on my path. As I reflect on these experiences, I am reminded that the call to serve is not always about formal structures but about living out one’s vocation in the context of authentic relationships and service to others.
Embracing a New Calling
Ultimately, my decision to leave seminary formation was not about rejecting my vocation but about embracing my authentic calling in a different form. It was a decision that required courage, vulnerability, and a commitment to personal growth.
To document this process of discovery, I began keeping a personal journal notebook. Writing down my thoughts and prayers helped me track the movement of the Spirit in my life and gave me peace during moments of uncertainty.
As Pope Francis encourages, we must “go beyond” our doubts and recognize that God’s invitation is not limited to a single path but extends to a variety of ways to contribute to His work in the world (Pope Francis 2013, no. 20). This experience has shown me that true fulfillment comes from pursuing a path that is in harmony with both one's faith and one’s deepest passions.
Recommended Resources
- The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen
- Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life by Henri Nouwen
- Wooden Handheld Rosary (Shopee)
- Personal Journal Notebook (Shopee)
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